Here I am, driving along this desert road with the smooth rumble of the wheels under my car along a highway acts as a lullaby. Miles in each direction there is nothing but open expanse. Hours ago I saw those lights slunk away, the views of my previous life. Now it’s just me and this road in the darkness. I want to squeeze down on the gas, speed towards where I am going, I feel stuck on this road, and it feels regardless of how fast I am going, I won’t make it to my destination any quicker. I know the roads and streets at my destination aren’t going anywhere. I want to see the lights out on the horizon before the lights go out. I want to look at the lights before the sun comes up and washes out the night.
I’ve been getting really excited recently, about my future. The science fiction of my childhood is finally becoming a reality. The problem I am having is that I want part of that future. I want one of the hands who help shape it. Each moment that passes by it feels like I am missing out on being able to dive head first into the water and make waves. My journey is still has a long way to go. Probably about 6 years before I start to have a little more control over my destiny. I work at it every day, and yet I want to be there already.
I mean I’m nervous for the next transition, and maybe it is the instability of not knowing where the next step of my future will be. The next couple months feel like that will help put on the correct path for my future and that weight bearing down on me is starting to crack me. It’s hard because it’s all about chasing the right opportunities. Go down this path but avoid that other one. Make sure to do this, but also do that. It’s so confusing, and even though I’m supposed to be on a track, it feels more like climbing a tree. With each limb I grab onto will change the next branch I can reach. Hopefully, when push comes to shove, I will be tall enough to bridge the gap between branches.
It’s easy to forget that the journey makes the destination worthwhile. I need to take a second and evaluate my journey because I am so focused on this next point that I do not see the world around me. I need to breathe. I need to enjoy the endless road ahead because if I don’t, I’ll never make it to my destination and know to keep moving. The world is an endless adventure and the sun will rise soon enough, I don’t need to rush it.