I have always been a patient person, at least with others it has never been a problem. I am the last person in the car to get frustrated and yell at traffic, the one who will sit calmly in a waiting room and weight my turn. I would say it is one of my strengths that I learned from a young age from both of my parents. Sure, there are times when I get antsy about the result or bored, but I have always been able to brave the storm.
The problem is,recently I fully the extent of my patience. It only extends to others, when it comes to myself I seem to not have any left. It leads me to get frustrated when I find that I can’t do something, or am trying to get better at something. I want to get better and be good at everything immediately which is a silly notion. It drives me to learn as much as I can as quickly as possible which is great, but I find myself being too hard on myself. Pushing myself down, being my own dark voice, berating myself about my lack of ability and my apparent lack of strength in the matter. Leading my mind to either shape up or ship out. I don’t need to be my own bad guy, the world will tell me enough that I can’t or I shouldn’t, I need to be on my own team. I need to give myself the support I try to give to those around me.
What I want and know I have to work on is to be patient with myself just as I am with others. Knowing that not everything happens all at once and even for me, I will have to work at it. Taking small steps toward my future, and knowing sometimes that will be okay. It reminds me of a speech from the movie Any Given Sunday. Life is a game of inches, and pushing myself to be greater than the person I was a moment before is what I should for. I want to end with a line from one of my favorite anime.
“We evolve, beyond the person that we were a minute before. Little by little, we advance with each turn. That’s how a drill works!”
Thank You for reading.