A Certain Sense of Calm and Happiness

A couple weeks ago I came downstairs to find that my bike was stolen. All that was left was my cut lock and a sense of bewilderment as to why someone would steal a 12-year-old bicycle. It was strange, I wasn’t upset about it at all even though I spent the last two years using my bike almost every day. It just was what it was, and I knew I would be able to deal with it.

I was worried it was a great sense of apathy that had befallen me. It wouldn’t have been the first time this had happened, in the years I had depression I became intimately acquainted with this feeling that nothing mattered. I was worried that all the stress from my work, school, and applications had fried my brains and my nerves taking me to this state of nothingness.

It felt like something different though, it was more of an acceptance and moving on. A quick coping with these things that were coming up and threatened to destroy my day. Even after I got sick and bedridden missing events and scrambling my schedule I felt alright.

I just have been happy with life, I had gotten through these difficult moments, have the opportunity be with the people who I love, and enjoy these smaller moments. I know that the future will hold more trails and tribulations but I want to make the most of this time when I feel like I can take on the world.

I think all I really wanted to write is that I am doing okay, and I hope you are doing okay. If you are not, things will be okay eventually, sometimes it is just persisting long enough.

More posts are to come, more thoughts and changes come the in the new year. My next post will be saying goodbye to this last one.

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