I feel tense, my whole body feels as though it is still holding on to stress from this application season. Most of what I need to do is behind me, but I don’t have the feeling of being complete or relaxed. I am stuck holding everything rigid, like a ghost is still there haunting me.
This feeling is like when I used to ride my motorcycle long distances through traffic. Though it looks like motorcycles taking it easy and passing between cars it just the opposite, during traffic we are most tense. Going in between cars we have to watch for any little indicator of a potential of trouble that is to say it’s hard being invisible when there thousand pound vehicles that wouldn’t think twice to roll over you. It’s after these especially tense trips that I feel it. I would peel my hands off the handlebars of my bike and no matter what I did it would still feel like I was there, riding between the cars.
I’m trying to let go, relax and feel alright, but I feel like this will be a process of recovery. I have been going non-stop since the beginning of summer culminating to these past couple weeks. My body doesn’t even know what to do now that the stress is technically over.
Maybe I’ll take it easy, but not likely, I am sure after a couple days that feeling of needing to work will come over me again. I just hope that by the time that comes, I will be okay again.