I got sick again, and in doing so, its thrown all my plans through the ringer. The idea that I would stay on top of things never accounts for sicknesses of any sort which is probably a bigger problem in the first place. I have probably have said this before, but it really has put a damper on things. This time not just the sickness but the recovery.  It’s taken me days to feel some semblance of normal, and I am still ridiculously tired. I think that’s the worst part of it, not the symptoms but the fatigue.

It hits me like a wall, almost as if my head is moving through a thick fog of fatigue. It has plagued me for days, forcing me to cut short the productive hours I usually have.  Maybe I am pushing it too hard, but I want to make the most of the time I have now and actually make steps to getting ahead in the life in which I dream to be. It even makes waking up feeling with my head feeling heavy of sleeping sand.  I don’t enjoy this at all, it makes me feel so detached from me.

I can say that being sick will always put things in perspective how good it is to be in good health.  I wish I weren’t tired, I wish it didn’t throw out an entire weekend of productivity, but I can’t undo the past. I want to work for the future, but it’s this fatigue that is following me everywhere I go.

I know this isn’t my usual spiel and more of a complaint than anything else, but what can I do when my head is pounding against my eyes asking me to hit the pillow instead of the books.  I can fight back, but I don’t know how much to, I don’t want to relapse and watch myself descend back into sickness, especially when I am so close to these days in which I am free to be as productive as I want to be.  So I will bide my time and wait until I can rise again healthy and full of energy.