Counting recently, I realized I have been through the school application process 4 times in my life. For high school, college from high school, college from community college, and now with grad school. About a week ago I interview for graduate school and i got this familiar feeling in my chest. A feeling that I had gotten when I went to orientation for the first time I went to college.
My girlfriend at the time commented that even though I had gone to Italy for three weeks, the 3 days I was gone were much emotional. I am starting to understand why. When I am on a trip, I have a home to come back to, a home which greets me with familiar friends, family, and places. It’s a permanent place, so regardless of where I go, I can count on it being there when I get back. Thats why going on the trip this summer didn’t impact me as much. Going for that interview though, realizing that home will now be someplace unfamiliar made me fear the future. My parents both came from different parts of the country for different reason, picking up from where the familiar was to find a new and better place for themselves. When talking to my mother about it, she gave me some insight, when she left, she hated the place she was and needed to get out. I on the other hand, don’t have a problem with where I live, I actually like it so it makes it hard to think I could leave.
I didn’t realized there were these lines that were connected to me. I always thought I was free of them and of the sentimental goings on of those who were attached to a place. Turns my mind may be free but I am bound secretly to the things around me.
Home will always be a fond memory, the people around me that I owe so much will always be in my heart, and the lessons I have learned are in my mind. So wherever I am, I know at least have already packed the important things.